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In our search for gender equality and the equality of language, most people focus on the little issues that make a big impact. Things like pronouns. Pronouns are huge. They make a big mark on how we address the people in our world. They are so huge that I’m going to nod politely in the direction of everyone currently having that discussion and leave through a discreet side door.

Once I’m out in the back alley with the rest of the smokers. I can talk about the aspect of gender equality that I had in mind for the day; Swearing.

I try to be gender fluid with my swearing. I’ll call a woman a dick or a guy a c*nt, but people get really offended by  it because of the gender connotation. And what do you call your Ambigen friend when they’re being a dick/c*nt/douche/b*tch? Just because they’re bi-gender/transgender/genderqueer/etc doesn’t mean they’re not the drawn from the same pile of shit as the rest of humanity.  So what then?

For these times, and many others, I am pushing two words forward for use in our swearing and name calling. Both words are completely gender neutral. Have that rough guttural sound that seems required in our cursing and have a good Etymological root to lend them credence. They are:

Slag and Cull.

Slag– Slag is the waste material produced during welding or refining metal. It is grimy, dirty, and useless. It’s the stuff you need to scrape off your boots when you’re done for the day.

Cull– A cull is an animal whose genetics are so poor that it has to be separated from the herd and killed to prevent it from breeding.

Both have that rich guttural sound. You can sneer or spit both of them and they are totally gender neutral. Plus, you don’t really need to know what they mean to be insulted. If someone calls you a ‘Slag’ you’re going to be offended.

So, go on. Try them out. Make the world a better place.